|Ready, set, squat.|
There are 3 main types of toilets in Thailand:
|Scooping water for flushing.|
|Free standing toilet doubles as shower rest.|
2. The Sitting Manual Flush Squat: You’ll find this gem freestanding in the middle of your shower. If you want to take a rest mid-shower it comes in handy. It’s a bit larger than a squat but resembles the miniature toilet used in elementary school. Next to this contraption is a saucepan shaped bucket floating on water inside a larger bucket. I think you know the protocol for the next step. You may also notice a hose much like a kitchen hose in the U.S.A. This is a “butt hose” or a “bum gun.” When you’re ready to wipe, the butt hose comes into play. Hose yourself down from front to back and don’t forget to leave time to dry. If your aim isn’t on point, you’ll give yourself a mini-shower at an inopportune time.
|Butt hose action.|
3. A Regular Flushing Toilet: In more modern places like shopping malls and Tesco you will find regular sized flushing toilets but you will NEVER have toilet paper or a butt hose. So no butt hose, no tissue what do they expect you to do, drip dry? Sometimes there is a vending machine in the bathroom where you can buy tissue paper. On the rare occasion that you do have toilet paper in your stall (2% of the time), don’t think twice about putting it in the commode. This is a huge no-no.
Researchers and proctologists have raved for years about the benefits of squatting toilets and the health ailments caused by sitting toilets. Maybe true, but for sanitary purposes I prefer to go sit style and flush it all away with as much toilet paper as I would like. Now that you’re in Southeast Asia remember that I warned you! With a little practice, patience, and a pack of tissues on hand at all times (it’s a hot commodity here) you can master the squat too. If you’re still having potty problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a SQUAT ain’t one!
|Squat toilet with a butt hose and a flushing trough.|
|Elegantly flushing a squat.|